Are you looking to set some limits and boundaries for your child to confidently prepare for the HSC? Wondering whether the tough love parenting approach will work?
Below, we’ve outlined the basic principles of tough love; why it’s important, when to implement it and the circumstances that may require it. The HSC can be a stressful and difficult time, sometimes exactly what your child needs is some tough love and firm instructions to help them through it.
Let’s begin!
What is tough love?
这个信用证ook like during the HSC?
How to Implement Tough Love
What is tough love?
艰难的爱是一种育儿方法setting boundaries and remaining stern for the betterment of your child。It’s not a one-size-fits-all strategy, but if you think your child could use some tougher rules and higher expectations, it may be a great method to try.
Tough love parentingfalls between authoritarian and more relaxed approaches, so it’s one that combines love and compassion with the implementation of tough rules and some sternness。So, this may involve not interfering and pushing your child to work out their own mistakes, not letting them hang out with friends until their rooms are clean or implementing some sort of curfew to ensure they’re not out too late and missing out on important sleep.
Quality sleep can be difficult for students to maintain, especially during the HSC. If you’re looking for some sleep-tips for your Year 12 student, take a look at thebest ways to maintain a healthy sleep schedule。
这个信用证ook like during the HSC?
While your Year 12 student may be nearing adulthood, set on gaining some further freedoms,the HSC usually calls for some increased discipline and surveillance。Expect to hear “Ugh, Dad!” or “Muuuum!” often.
For parents of HSC students,some tough love strategies may involve putting a timer on study sessions, getting them used to taking consistent mock tests and limiting fun or social activitiesuntil enough study and homework is done.
例如，如果您手上有足球狂热者，他对在球场上的进球比在测试中获得高分更感兴趣，那么您可以采用此功能来鼓励更多学习。一个简单的策略可以如下：
Example: No study, No soccer.
Here’s quite a specific example, but of course它几乎可以应用于任何兴趣。也许您有一个孩子花时间玩游戏，骑自行车，与朋友闲逛或检查社交媒体，这种黑客也会奏效。
It’s a simple rule but equally as powerful,don’t let your child participate in their favourite activity until they’ve completed a sufficient amount of study.您必须利用孩子的动力和对另一项活动的热情来提高他们在学业上的效率。
Back to the soccer example. If your child lives and breathes soccer and would do anything before forgoing their chance to make the big league, they’ll realise thatthe only way to pursue their soccer goals is to complete some regular and effective study.
您的HSC学生可能不喜欢该规则，但从长远来看将有所帮助。Give it a couple weeks, and soon it’ll become a habit. This strategy is going to发展他们self motivation and discipline, which will come in handy far beyond the HSC exams.In fact, they’ll probably thank you by the end of it all, though that may be hard to envision at first.
If you’re reading this earlier than the looming HSC exams, it可能会尽快开始实施此规则可能会有所帮助。If you begin utilising this strategy while your child is in Year 9 or 10, it will likely become second nature and therefore they’ll receive plenty of independence during Year 12 once they’ve gained your trust and can enact the ‘No study, no…’ rule by themselves.
Keep in mind thatyou’ll have to persevere with this one。It probably won’t be very well received initially, but it’ll be totally worth it if you’re tough and consistent.
How to Implement Tough Love
So, we’ve given you one example. One that’s perfect for students with varied interests and those that love a particular activity.
Now, we’ll get intosome other tips and tricks to get your child confident and prepared for the HSC exams using tough love.这些技能一旦进入劳动力，这些技能甚至将很有用。获胜！
#1: Create a study timetable
鼓励孩子制定一致有效学习计划的一种好方法是与他们合作，建立一个现实且可实现的研究时间表。This will enable your Year 12 student to get an idea of their expectations, be able to arrange exciting activities around their allocated study times and also feel accomplished each week when they get through it!
AsTracy (98.35 ATAR)explained:
“With my parents, I had organised a study plan/timetable where they ensured I was on track, completing certain tasks on time and making sure I did not procrastinate.”
A key feature of this strategy is toco-create the timetable.This way, your child won’t feel as though they’re being forced to complete a task that they haven’t agreed to.
你可以help each other to create a timetable that allows for recreational activities, socialising and relaxing.您应该根据其目标设计此时间表。因此，他们将拥有扎实且可衡量的东西，并且可以对实现目标负责。
上面的时间表主要概述了学习和学校的时间，但根据您的孩子想要与之互动的活动，它们都可以适应学习时间。
重要的，这种方法应该开发一些强大的学习习惯。您可以制定一个适合30至60天的时间表，并希望它会成为一种习惯！
You could also check out one of our previous articles which lays out how to make a study plan这里！
#2: Sign pages of their work
Another tip you can use to hold your child accountable and ensure they’re getting the most out of their study sessions is to literallysign the pages of homework that they’ve completed.This way, you can feel confident that they’re finishing enough high-quality work.
AsManav (96.25 ATAR)explained,
“My parents signed on a page and I used to write study notes from the textbook. This helped me a lot to set a parameter that, how much work I did and pages written can be cashed into prizes hence it’s self satisfaction and appreciation at the same time.”
This strategy generally places quality over quantity. As a parent,you’re looking for work that’s well-done and focussed.This way, come the end of the study session, you can ask questions like, “Did you complete what you needed to achieve your goals?” rather than “Why haven’t you done more?”.
It’sa simple strategy that typically works best when used in the short term,just to let your child associate study and productivity with output rather than a period of time.
#3: Use an assessment chart
A variation of the study plan strategy is to use a similar process with an assessment chart. This willenable you and your child to track relevant exam and assessment dates。You’ll see how much time’s left and from that decide the quality and quantity of study that’s necessary.
AsManav (96.25 ATAR)commented,
“They kept me accountable with my assignments and tests as my mother made a chart of assignments and tests due in a particular term and gave me reminder 2 days before the due date and also made sure that I’m on time for the test.”
#4: Enforce a no technology rule
As we’re all well aware,技术（无论是手机，计算机还是平板电脑）都是HSC学生的Kryptonite。Not only can it be a huge distraction, but apps like Instagram and Facebook can be huge confidence stealers.
If possible, ano technology rule对于您的HSC孩子来说，可能是保持积极，专注和健康的绝佳选择。
Lin-Lee（99.65 ATAR）parents implemented a no technology rule.
“I was not allowed a computer/laptop in my room, it helped me concentrate better.”
Phones and laptops几乎是拖延的代名词, and procrastination can be the bane of an HSC student’s existence! Even so,实施诸如pomodoro技术，分块和赚钱的策略, will no doubt help your child beat the HSC procrastination bug. Check out more right这里!
There are a few ways to implement the no technology rule. These include:
No Phones While Studying
Byensuring your child leaves their phone in an unreachable place, a study session will likely be far more productive and effective.Every time someone gets distracted, it takes 7 to 8 minutes to get their flow again。If you think about that happening regularly, that’s a lot of precious study time lost!
As a parent, you may have to use some tough love here to hide your child’s phone during their study session to reduce distracting variables as much as possible.
在公共场所学习技术
Admittedly,有时技术是至关重要的。Especially when more and more schools are expecting their pupils to come with their own laptop to work on. This means that许多作业和学习实践将在线进行。
A way around this would be to确保您的孩子仅在公共场所使用技术（学习）。That way you’re able to keep an eye on their searches to make sure they’re staying on track.
Since the HSC is still completed manually,putting pen to paper while studying is always a good idea。这样，您的孩子可以建立那些重要的手和大脑肌肉来继续写作。当他们是考试最后几分钟仍在写作的少数学生之一时，他们会感谢您。
With that said, technology can also have the ability to make a positive impact on your child’s daily life. There are greatfree meditation apps to reduce stress和apps for improving sleep routines，所以还不是不好！但是，当然，过度的技术使用肯定会对孩子的注意力和整体信心产生负面影响。
＃5：奖励辛勤工作！
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. The HSC can be an incredibly difficult time, in fact,1 in 3 high school students are stressed! So, it’s important that, as parents, you remain compassionate and understanding.
Look out for your child and make sure they’re not struggling to an unhealthy extent.If you feel as though they may be excessively anxious or stressed, you could alwaysconsider professional help。And have a squiz at ourDefinitive Guide to Managing HSC Stress and Anxiety。
仍然，如果您的孩子像冠军一样推进了其中一些策略，请奖励他们！Show how proud of them you are by taking them out to dinner or giving them a weekend off.
In fact, you could use this reward as a motivating factor to begin with.如果他们通过上述5周的策略获得了成功，那么他们将获得如此奖励。
We’ve given you the tips, now you can see how effective they can be!
杰玛·比灵顿（Gemma Billington）is a Content Writer at Art of Smart and an undergraduate student at the University of Technology Sydney. While studying Journalism and Social and Political Sciences, Gemma enjoys spending her time at the gym or reading about Britain’s medieval monarchy – ideally not at the same time. She currently creates and administers social media posts for Central News and writes for the student publication, The Comma. After completing her undergraduate degree, she hopes to study a Masters of Medieval History and is very excited about the prospect!
